Chris, Sid, and Penis Pills
by: Alex Blackstone & Sidney Pacampara

There once was a girl named Alex. She refused to wash her hair. This was because Chris Carraba touched it.
When Chris Carraba touched Sidney, he didn’t refuse to wash his hair....he cried. He cried because he knew that he wasn't worthy of his manliness, so one day. He went online and saw an ad for penis enlargement pills. He thought that this would be a good idea. Maybe then, Chris would fall in love with him. To get money for the online penis pills, he had a lemonade stand, which he ran with Alex. Still, she didn’t wash her hair, and it got smellier by the day. They made large sums of money in a little amount of time. The first thing he bought was the most expensive bottle of shampoo for Alex, because he was a good friend like that. Alex and Sidney decided to go on a shopping spree for shoes, earrings, and banana lube. The lube was for Sydney and Chris. He remembered that this girl he thought was hot liked puppies so he bought a female shiatsu and named it Stacy. He also bought a cat and named it Delacroix. So, Alex, Sidney, Stacy, and Delacroix went to Vegas to see the Dashboard show and to see the girl, so Sid could give her the puppy, because the cat was for Alex. Also, they finally were able to pick up those pills that Sidney was eyeing, so they were all ready to go. After the concert, they found Chris talking on his cell phone crying and arguing to his soon to be ex-girlfriend, and eating a burrito. Alex pointed this out to Sidney, who felt bad for Chris. He envisioned himself comforting the sexy emo god, when suddenly: FABOOM!! A bus ran over MXPX. Chris forgot about his heartbreak and joined Alex and Sidney and celebration of the crappy "punk" band's demise. This was done by dancing around with flaming sticks over their bloody stupid faced corpses, and their weak children who were left to die, just like the Spartans. After an hour of fun, Alex found a circus and went there with her cat, leaving Chris and Sidney together, after Sidney first gave Alex a vanilla Nutrigrain bar. Chris and Sidney talked for a while and they come across the subject of Chris’s very recent breakup. Sidney was surprised to discover that Chris was getting through it alright. In fact, his words were, "I think I’m into someone else." In fact, it went even more detailed, as he feels like what he was going for before was boring, and feels like he wants to experiment with a certain sexy Filipino named Gabe. Sidney was very disappointed, but then he said, “My middle name is Conde,”
And for some reason, Chris was very turned on by this, and he said “Sidney... we have to stop walking, because I can’t move my legs, because my pants are so tight. And Sidney said “well, why don’t I help you with those?”